Out from the Box

The magnificient sunsets. The savoring smell of the midnight wind. The shimmering stars. The gleaming moon.

The hopes from the rising sun. The peaceful blue sky. The sweet melody of the birds singing. Thank God for the beautiful world!

Out from the box. I really dont know what it means to me until I see myself in the mirror. I was once too protective to myself not realizing I am hiding and living inside the box. It is so small that only one person can occupy in it - ME. For the past experiences in my life, I had learned to defend myself from the outside world - a world I known to be cruel, chaos and unlovable. I had lived the life I thought to be perfect. Am I happy? I WAS.

As years continue to add I found it so boring and dull. Yes, I control what I feel, what I wanna see and to whom I wanna be with. I am too scared to mingle, to open my life in public because of what they might say about me. I wasnt thinking about my own happiness. The opinion of other people is what matters to me. It makes me feel that I am wanted and doing the things they expect from me is a great achievement on my part knowing I pleased them and be part of their circle.I am too focused for their own happiness not realizing I am not happy. I got tired.  I was suffocated.  I wanna be free. I wanna be who I am and not someone other's want me to be. I wanna be funny. I wanna laugh and smile until my tummy hurts. I miss the feeling of being happy - COMPLETELY HAPPY.

I regret spending and wasting my years inside the box. How could I be so naive and careless? How could I?

...The hopes from the rising sun. The peaceful blue sky. The sweet melody of the birds singing. Thank God for the beautiful world! It is indeed such a wonderful world. How can I be so blind and so scared to witness this beautiful creation.

A new start. A new beginning. Life is so mysterious and I am ready for a big jump off!!