Random Thoughts of YOU

I've been trying to find the right words to describe you.

The exact terms that is only meant for you.

But everytime I tried, I ended up deleting the phrase.

Not because it is not beautiful nor the right thing to say.

It is because my heart speaks louder than what my mind says.

So I close my eyes. Imagining you.

Your eyes. Your nose. Your funny face.

The warmth of your care. The touch of your love.

Always left me unguard. Makes me vulnerable.

The beauty of your soul. The goodness of your well being.

The totality of you that makes you YOU.

Now it rhymes and I wont deny.

Its you and only you.

Now let my heart speaks and describe it.

You - my shining star. my moon. my sun.

Out from the Box

The magnificient sunsets. The savoring smell of the midnight wind. The shimmering stars. The gleaming moon.

The hopes from the rising sun. The peaceful blue sky. The sweet melody of the birds singing. Thank God for the beautiful world!

Out from the box. I really dont know what it means to me until I see myself in the mirror. I was once too protective to myself not realizing I am hiding and living inside the box. It is so small that only one person can occupy in it - ME. For the past experiences in my life, I had learned to defend myself from the outside world - a world I known to be cruel, chaos and unlovable. I had lived the life I thought to be perfect. Am I happy? I WAS.

As years continue to add I found it so boring and dull. Yes, I control what I feel, what I wanna see and to whom I wanna be with. I am too scared to mingle, to open my life in public because of what they might say about me. I wasnt thinking about my own happiness. The opinion of other people is what matters to me. It makes me feel that I am wanted and doing the things they expect from me is a great achievement on my part knowing I pleased them and be part of their circle.I am too focused for their own happiness not realizing I am not happy. I got tired.  I was suffocated.  I wanna be free. I wanna be who I am and not someone other's want me to be. I wanna be funny. I wanna laugh and smile until my tummy hurts. I miss the feeling of being happy - COMPLETELY HAPPY.

I regret spending and wasting my years inside the box. How could I be so naive and careless? How could I?

...The hopes from the rising sun. The peaceful blue sky. The sweet melody of the birds singing. Thank God for the beautiful world! It is indeed such a wonderful world. How can I be so blind and so scared to witness this beautiful creation.

A new start. A new beginning. Life is so mysterious and I am ready for a big jump off!!

The Year It Was

Its been awhile that I havent done anything. I miss writing, painting and crafting. Looking back my 2011, it was full of random unexplained feeelings that I myself cant even imagine. I had found and lost love. I gained and lose friends. I forget reading, writing and focused on the dull work I have and at the "once important" things I had.

I never regret every single moments I had with 2011. I maybe became dull but I GREW. I become the person I thought I never could be. And I am still in my journey to GROW MORE. To challenge more myself and to encourage more.

Come and join me as I walk through my life's road.