Today I found myself crying again. It wasn't aloud cry. It was the most silent cry anyone could ever heard of - the cry of a hurting heart.
I am the girl whom you see everyday wearing her most confident happy face. I am the girl whom you joked around with, laughing and giggling til my tummy hurts. I am the girl who cares everyone that surrounds her. I am the girl who patiently waits til the last reasons has been told. I am the girl who eagerly encourage people to go beyond their limits. I am the girl who is willing to give her comfort just to make sure everyone around her feel safe. But I am also the girl who dwells into the darkness and drowned herself to her sadness and miseries. I am also the girl who long for love and happiness. To be able to feel that I am important and worthy to be cared of. I am the girl who wanted not only to be loved but to be told that I am loved. I am the girl who yearns for a hug and cuddle and random funny moments that life had been seizing against me.
Its been weeks since I found myself strolling in an alley of confusion, walking on the steps of miseries and jumping from one pain to another. I don't know if I will be able to overcome everything. Its like a big black hole slowly eating me up and tearing me apart. Today I pitied to myself. I am just as lonely as an old tree who was forgotten by men. Life was much happier and easier then, what happened? This is not me. I used to be lovely and alive! I dreamed everyday of unicorns and rainbows and flying pandas. Where did these dreams went? I feel like I am zombie doing the same chores everyday, speaking the same words and eating the same food. My life is slowly slipping away from me.
I am here sitting alone, trying to find the right words that greatly describe me - ALONE AND SAD. Little did everyone knows that I am the kind of person who expects alot and this always lead me to frustrations and doubts. I trust easily and care too much but most of them don't realized it and I ended up being hurt and neglected. I don't like to be treated as someone who has a communicable disease. Though they will always deny it, I could feel every single coldness in my system that is slowly eating me up, making me feel so unlovable and unworthy. And it always lead to frustrations and eventually hurting myself emotionally. When will life treated me so well? When can I be able to feel the true meaning of happiness? When?
I am the girl whom you see everyday wearing her most confident happy face. I am the girl whom you joked around with, laughing and giggling til my tummy hurts. I am the girl who cares everyone that surrounds her. I am the girl who patiently waits til the last reasons has been told. I am the girl who eagerly encourage people to go beyond their limits. I am the girl who is willing to give her comfort just to make sure everyone around her feel safe. But I am also the girl who dwells into the darkness and drowned herself to her sadness and miseries. I am also the girl who long for love and happiness. To be able to feel that I am important and worthy to be cared of. I am the girl who wanted not only to be loved but to be told that I am loved. I am the girl who yearns for a hug and cuddle and random funny moments that life had been seizing against me.
Its been weeks since I found myself strolling in an alley of confusion, walking on the steps of miseries and jumping from one pain to another. I don't know if I will be able to overcome everything. Its like a big black hole slowly eating me up and tearing me apart. Today I pitied to myself. I am just as lonely as an old tree who was forgotten by men. Life was much happier and easier then, what happened? This is not me. I used to be lovely and alive! I dreamed everyday of unicorns and rainbows and flying pandas. Where did these dreams went? I feel like I am zombie doing the same chores everyday, speaking the same words and eating the same food. My life is slowly slipping away from me.
I am here sitting alone, trying to find the right words that greatly describe me - ALONE AND SAD. Little did everyone knows that I am the kind of person who expects alot and this always lead me to frustrations and doubts. I trust easily and care too much but most of them don't realized it and I ended up being hurt and neglected. I don't like to be treated as someone who has a communicable disease. Though they will always deny it, I could feel every single coldness in my system that is slowly eating me up, making me feel so unlovable and unworthy. And it always lead to frustrations and eventually hurting myself emotionally. When will life treated me so well? When can I be able to feel the true meaning of happiness? When?
