If Only

If only I could turn back the time
When I was yours and you were mine
I was the sun and you were the moon
When our worlds collide and then bloomed.

If only I could turn back the days
When I am the one who makes you happy and gay
I lay my head into your arms
As we watch lovers passes by holding hands.

If only I could bring you back
I'll give you my world, no holding back
I'll keep you safe, protect you well
From all the endevours we will gain.

But now Im lost, I got nowhere to go
I let you walked too far and I cannot follow
I traced your trails I might catch you up
I only ended with regrets and another broken heart.

That Long and Lasting Love

When I was a child I always imagined myself wearing that shining white gown, a glass slippers and walking down the aisle while my Prince Charming is waiting for me at the altar. And they live happily ever after. FIN. As I enter the years of curiosity, where puppy love and crushes is the main course of every subject, I still got that dream but more detailed and specific. Slam books are my only way to find out what's my crush's favorites and also an indirect way to hurt me because it wasnt me whom he likes. I fell inlove and only to find out that it got broken by my own best friend. In every ending there is always a new beginning and a broken heart didnt stop me to love again.

Now that I am grown enough to know what is right and wrong. To possibly see the consequences of every decisions I made and I will be making. I had found and lost love. I hurt and I got hurt too. And for  every pieces in me that was torn apart only gives me inspirations to become more of the person I wanna be. I know I still have a long walk to finally found the one I am destined to, and for every curve I had encountered, the detours and pit stops, with an open mind and a hopeful heart that long and lasting love will be mine.

And I still wanna have that shining white dress not with a glass slippers but with a red doll shoes!

My Personal Prayer

Monday, October 18, 2010 at 5:32am

I pray for my family i left behind,

may they understand the essence and the importance of my being here.

I pray for my friends,

may the bond and solidarity of our friendships last til eternity.

I pray for those who hates me,

may their hearts be filled with contentment and acceptance.

I pray for those i have  hurt,

may they will finally forgive me and accept me again in thier lives.

I pray for the one who is grieving,

may the hand of God touch his heart and forgiveness may come within his soul.

I pray for those who are lost and in pain,

may they find the light to happiness and may love overshadow the hurt in their hearts.

I pray for the unkind and the wicked,

may they realize that goodness still prevails and may their soul be bless.

I pray for the good, the sincere and the honest one,

may they still continue to touch our lives and become good examples in this chaotic world we are livin.

I pray for love,peace and prosperity,

may each and every one of us still continue to believe and hold on into them.

I pray for the world,

its betterment and may the smile,the laughter echoes the land.

IF

If…

I had turn away what would my heart have to say?

For love I stay and fight…

like a specter stealing the night.

Pandora’s Box is not quite empty as I watch the clock…

 pray like hell our world doesn’t stop.

There no reason to leave you here just to watch you cry.

 Love ones will move on…

but their love will always stay embedded deep within your memories …

always free there they will be.

 Maybe within a dream or a moment in time and space ….

there you will trace their face.

Never to truly die

for they live

within you and I.

by Tony Gauge on Tuesday, November 15, 2011 at 9:46pm.

Random Thoughts of YOU

I've been trying to find the right words to describe you.

The exact terms that is only meant for you.

But everytime I tried, I ended up deleting the phrase.

Not because it is not beautiful nor the right thing to say.

It is because my heart speaks louder than what my mind says.

So I close my eyes. Imagining you.

Your eyes. Your nose. Your funny face.

The warmth of your care. The touch of your love.

Always left me unguard. Makes me vulnerable.

The beauty of your soul. The goodness of your well being.

The totality of you that makes you YOU.

Now it rhymes and I wont deny.

Its you and only you.

Now let my heart speaks and describe it.

You - my shining star. my moon. my sun.

Out from the Box

The magnificient sunsets. The savoring smell of the midnight wind. The shimmering stars. The gleaming moon.

The hopes from the rising sun. The peaceful blue sky. The sweet melody of the birds singing. Thank God for the beautiful world!

Out from the box. I really dont know what it means to me until I see myself in the mirror. I was once too protective to myself not realizing I am hiding and living inside the box. It is so small that only one person can occupy in it - ME. For the past experiences in my life, I had learned to defend myself from the outside world - a world I known to be cruel, chaos and unlovable. I had lived the life I thought to be perfect. Am I happy? I WAS.

As years continue to add I found it so boring and dull. Yes, I control what I feel, what I wanna see and to whom I wanna be with. I am too scared to mingle, to open my life in public because of what they might say about me. I wasnt thinking about my own happiness. The opinion of other people is what matters to me. It makes me feel that I am wanted and doing the things they expect from me is a great achievement on my part knowing I pleased them and be part of their circle.I am too focused for their own happiness not realizing I am not happy. I got tired.  I was suffocated.  I wanna be free. I wanna be who I am and not someone other's want me to be. I wanna be funny. I wanna laugh and smile until my tummy hurts. I miss the feeling of being happy - COMPLETELY HAPPY.

I regret spending and wasting my years inside the box. How could I be so naive and careless? How could I?

...The hopes from the rising sun. The peaceful blue sky. The sweet melody of the birds singing. Thank God for the beautiful world! It is indeed such a wonderful world. How can I be so blind and so scared to witness this beautiful creation.

A new start. A new beginning. Life is so mysterious and I am ready for a big jump off!!

The Year It Was

Its been awhile that I havent done anything. I miss writing, painting and crafting. Looking back my 2011, it was full of random unexplained feeelings that I myself cant even imagine. I had found and lost love. I gained and lose friends. I forget reading, writing and focused on the dull work I have and at the "once important" things I had.

I never regret every single moments I had with 2011. I maybe became dull but I GREW. I become the person I thought I never could be. And I am still in my journey to GROW MORE. To challenge more myself and to encourage more.

Come and join me as I walk through my life's road.